Remembering Barbara

 Written one year ago, October 20, 2025

Barbara Ann Crawford Clay (c. 1932-Oct. 2025) passed away quietly on a Tuesday in October, at, allegedly, 93 years old. Four days later, friends and family came together to remember and honor her life. Barbara was a private woman (she wouldn't even tell her family her birthday), but service attendees shared the memories they had. The following is an amalgamation of the stories collected during the weekend, along with the few anecdotes held by her youngest grandchild, age 27. 

Barbara was one of four sisters who had two much younger brothers (Peggy, Liz, Barbara, Elenor, John, and Pete), in Rome, Georgia. Her family found a striking wedding portrait of Barbara in her apartment, which elicited the fact that she was widely acknowledged as the third pretties of the Crawford sisters, which really makes a person think. Mainly about why that is widespread family lore. 

Although her children and grandchildren remember Barbara as peripheral and private, evidently she was also a strong and bold leader at times. As a child she boldly led her entire school class to the Crawford family home to see their first indoor toilet, with "every child getting their own flush." Among the Crawford sisters, she was also known as the one best as catching the chicken for Sunday lunch, although Peggy was the one to "handle it" once caught.  In college, she led an ambiguous rebellion against the school and/or cafeteria, leading to her entire dorm being sentenced to their rooms for the weekend. Luckily, her friend was dating a young fireman, and they arranged for the fire department to use their ladders to supply the women with food through the windows for the weekend. 

She must have been in college when she met her husband, Tom D. Clay, a student at the University of Georgia. Their marriage marked the union between the families of William Crawford and Henry Clay, rival presidential candidates and marked enemies of the 19th century. After marrying Tom, she would move to Macon, GA, where she would live for the rest of her life. 

Once Barbara was married, the stories are even more sparse. What we do know is that she was a social worker for Little Richard,  of the rock n roll hall of fame. She is also remembered to have kidnapped a small bird that was pecking on the family house, covered it with a handkerchief, drove it around Macon, and released it far from home, only to arrive home and discover the bird had beaten her back.  

Barbara was known for her cooking that was both subpar and insisted upon. Her grandchildren recall the family holiday staples "egg glop" and "cheese glop," which is suspected to have been rebranded as "Mac n cheese" to her younger grandchildren. Her thanksgiving turkey that was both overcooked and undercooked also lives on in memory. While her culinary prowess was not necessarily high brow, she was always thoughtful, once sending her youngest son to visit his sister in California with a frozen roast and a poundcake in his suitcase. 

Later in life Barbara is remembered for her fierce independence. She passed a drivers test at 91, in the state of Georgia guaranteeing her right to drive for another ten years. She used this freedom to attend church every Sunday, and to drive her sister Elenor to Talbots to complain about their pants "looking cheap." She also walked frequently, answering indignantly when well meaning strangers would stop and ask if she was lost or needed help. We're told she helped start a library at her senior community, where she and a friend would tape their reviews to the books they liked to encourage others to read them. 

Barbara was not warm, but she loved her family. Perhaps the person with the most good memories with her is her first great grandchild, Henry, who, when asked if he had many good memories with her sighed wistfully and said simply, "Yeah. Lots." She would mail him a riddle she'd collected every month. She sent cards for every child and grandchild's birthday, and a gift for everyone at Christmas. (Everyone was relieved when they got to the age they received a small check, rather than whatever beige, wrongly sized piece of clothing she had selected at Belk.) 

Her mind was sharp, and spirit fierce, until the end. Barbara never desired to be the star of the show, but was always present. When she wanted her moment, she had it. The Crawford family crest is emblazoned with the phrase "Safety Through Strength" and Barbara certainly carried that strength. 

Her presence was small but steady, and she will be missed. 

She goes on to join her husband Tom, granddaughter Katrina, and sister Peggy.