30 Day Review Recap + A Labor Update

Well I FINALLY got to have my 30 day review with my boss that everyone has been dying to hear about it. It took some time to pin him down, but finally on a Wednesday morning we were able to check in. He put me in the position of talking first, which was hard because there was really no prompt to go off of. Also, despite having been thinking about this meeting since my very first day, I still hadn't totally decided what I wanted to say. Below is a summary of how things went, according to my memory which is admittedly not that great and highly subjective: 

Generally how things are going: Not great. "Just fine" is what I think I said. Things have gotten easier since the first week, but are still generally hard. I didn't necessarily plan to include this part, as I only even really put it together recently, but I also said how this is the least amount of responsibility I've ever had at a job, and as such I am not finding it very satisfying. (Too big a swing to start our little conversation? Idk but I do know I did not have it in me to lie to this guy and say I was loving it.) He responded by asking if I wanted more responsibility and my answer: I don't know. In my head I know that I don't want a lot more responsibly without more pay, and I sort of like this stress free, care free lifestyle I've been able to adopt, but ALSO I am going crazy just being a little worker bee in the fields all day, never having to trouble my pretty little head with any thinking whatsoever.... So anyway, we talked about some ways I could maybe have more responsibility (I didn't really like any of his ideas, but I suppose I am willing to try...). 

-------------------------------------------Pause here to note that as I write this in a coffee shop, I am continuously finding ants on me and my stuff!! Everywhere I go lately: ANTS. Is everywhere having this same problem, or is my car and maybe my stuff infested with ants to the point I am bringing them out into the world with me??? Either answer is distressing.--------------------------------------------------------------------

Speaking of more work for more pay.... I was offered a $0.50/hr raise. What a gift. Thank the heavens my life has changed. And in six months, we can talk about another 50 cents. Hooray! To this offer I think I actually said, "Ok." (I had some idea this offer was coming thanks to talking with my friend about how her review went, but she had asked for a raise and was offered this so I didn't know it was basically automatic for completing your first month. Also I guess I am happy about it, but also I just don't care that much...something I already knew but am learning again is that I'm just not that motivated by money. Working farmers markets to get some extra money? Great, I guess, except I can never buy back the feeling of sanity I like to have on my weekends! (Waking up at 4 or 5am and not eating/drinking anything except coffee until 2pm is just not for me and no amount of money can change that!!!)) 

Also, I don't think I am learning a lot. I also brought up, related to my general lack of fulfillment, that I don't feel like I'm learning a lot beyond the "what" of what we do every day. I get so little face time with my bosses (married) (sometimes for the best because they're so annoying to be around) that I'm really not learning much about farming. My two coworkers who've been there multiple seasons can teach me how to do this job (although even this is sometimes questionable because lately we've been getting in trouble a lot because they still do basic stuff wrong!!!!!!) but they really don't know much at all about farming. So we talked about maybe doing a weekly field walk and generally getting some more time with the bosses to ask my farming questions and all the why's of what we're doing every week. (I do expect I might regret this, but again, I have to try something if I'm going to refrain from quitting.) 

I might move in with my parents. This might be breaking news to a lot of you readers, but I'm sure you can fill in the blanks. Also I don't want to talk about. But also I think it's the right choice. It's complicated. Anyway.... My boss seemed pretty disappointed by this news, and asked repeatedly if there was anything they could do and if they needed to talk to my roommate about anything, to which I said no. Although honestly something they could do is not be lurking around my house and yard all hours of the night even on weekends!!!! (To be fair, my house/yard is their place of work etc etc so I sort of get it but also it is very annoying to me.) I think by this point in the meeting he was starting to get the picture that I am really not happy here...I was doing my best to keep it at least mildly positive (readers of this blog and especially anyone who's talked to me irl lately knows that even mild positivity is a FEAT I think), but still I don't think he was expecting me to have so much to say.... 

Finally, what the heck is up with the produce situation?? The topic we've all been dying to see resolved....If somehow you've missed this plot line, the long and short of it is that the staff gets basically no produce to eat. They send everything to the auction to sell for a FRACTION of what it's worth before they offer it to the staff. Sometimes we're offered what the couldn't sell, a week or TWO old by the time we get to it. Ok moving on. I said how I'm used to having a lot more access to the food that I help grow, and that's a pretty major reason I even do this work, and what can we do about that. And he seemed genuinely surprised that I felt this way. "Do other people feel this way?" he asked. Yes!!!! Duh!!!!! He said, "of course you guys should have whatever you want! Just ask the wash house ladies on Tuesdays and they'll fix you up!" Now don't be confused. This was not really a win for me, but more so a reality check on how out of touch this guy is with what's going on around his own farm. It turns out I miscalculated and my other boss, his wife, is the one who controls the flow of produce. I aimed to talk to her that very afternoon but of course, she wasn't around then, or the rest of the week. So I continue to wait. 

I think that is essentially what we covered in our little meeting. I think I am generally happy with how it went, because at least now he knows to some extent that I'm not satisfied with how things are going. I'm not sure we really came to any good solutions for any of my problems (except that I'm moving out whether he likes it or not!), but I suppose trying a few new things is better than nothing. At the end of the day, I just think this job is never going to be that great. I don't think this guy is even interested in small scale sustainable ag, or in helping people become farmers, or even farming himself (he's literally never working on the produce side of things) or really in anything besides turning a profit and getting BIG. (Literally any time he's talking wistfully about another farm it's some huge mechanized place and wishing he could be that and it's like buddy....you are doing the wrong thing ???) So anyway, that's the update. He said that it seems like I'm doing a good job and they're happy to have me here. 

Labor News: Perhaps as much as I am asked about my review with my boss, I am asked if we here on the farm our going to unionize. And finally I have an update, albeit small, which is that I think people are serious about doing something. (Note that this could all change when our 4th coworker and the only one with any "leadership" responsibility/role returns from an extended trip.) The talk of the town is "we should go on strike for more pay." It's coming up a lot and in more concrete terms than ever before. However, I don't personally think we can get higher pay, at least not significantly higher (this side of the business isn't even turning a profit yet from what I understand....), and I don't really think striking should be the first step. I consulted a bona fide labor ~expert~ (shoutout John) and got some good resources to read about this stuff, and that's been really interesting and helpful. The unfortunate thing that I've learned though is that farmworkers actually have no legal right to unionize. This is okay news for us because we don't need a union to get what we want, but I do think that sucks. (Although I also get the potential threat it poses to family farmers...but also they need to treat their workers right and also most farmworkers aren't working at family farms these days anyway....... everything is SO complicated!) I have more reading to do and more talking to do, too, but I think we'll continue to work on this produce access issue, and maybe start by asking for some overtime pay instead of full on raises (did you know farmworkers also aren't legally entitled to overtime??), and whatever we do, ask for it together!! Hopefully I'll have some more updates on this front soon. 

Misc. Business:  

• I learned to use a weed eater this week! (I know it's hard to believe it took me 26 years to do this but look.... it didn't sound like fun....) 
• As I write this I am on muscle relaxers AND steroids because my back is messed up! 
• I was extremely thrilled to release the first issue of the Wheeling Cacophony Orchestra last week!! It you missed it somehow, read it here. 
• Update: I do indeed have ants in my car. 
• I think I'm really on the precipice of making some friends in Staunton!! My one coworker said that moving in with my parents will be good because then she and I can hang out in town (!!!!!) and I keep running into some people in town that I vaguely know through my parents and I think we could make the jump to friends maybeeeee AND they introduced me to someone who's plugged into the local farming scene AND they all also happen to know my coworker! 
• I worked the farmers market this weekend and the radish man came back! (see earlier post, maybe "bits and pieces.") He paid with a half dollar, which I mistook for a silver dollar, and tried to make him change much to his confusion. Then he came back a little while later to give me a little apple cider donut.