26+1/2 and in my prime (maybe)

Inspired by some other rambling listicles of varying levels of sanity and sense popping up in the blogosphere lately, here are some random and disconnected thoughts. Note, these are being written after most of a beer, on a day where I've been up since 5am thanks to the farmers market-- a day where my heart beat fast but my mind felt like it's moving slowly and stickily through maple syrup. We can all be the judge as to whether the following should've stayed in the syrup. 

I'm starting to think that maybe I am actually in the prime of my life right now, whatever that means, and of course no one is around to see it. Let's hope it lasts a long long time. 

I did a bad thing today where I lied to people at the farmers market, saying white spring onions were better, milder, whatever they wanted to hear, compared to the red ones, in hopes that we had red ones leftover for me to take home at the end. (This was after I was pushing them too hard by saying they were my favorite thing we had-- true, but also one of the few things I've actually be allowed to eat!!-- and we were selling a lot of them, so I think I did more than my part on getting those sold.) It worked pretty well until some woman took the last bunch at like 11:50 (market closes at noon) after asking "why are these red?" and I had to explain that they just are. So they definitely went to someone who won't even appreciate them, but I guess I'm wishing her the best. 

Another bad thing I'm doing is accidentally but also kind of on purpose driving my OCD boss crazy by not doing things in the extremely unnecessarily precise way he likes them done. If it doesn't actually matter, I'm not spending time we don't have making lines extra straight or arranging the tiny squash in their tiny pints in tiny precise ways. I love the chaos and like I told him, he can just not look. 

A good thing I'm doing lately is cooking again!! I have had several salads in the last 2 weeks of living with my parents, as well as some pastas covered in vegetables and I am feeling very pleased about this. 

I was offered produce from work twice this week: the first time it was stuff so old that some of it stank. The second time it was freshly harvested and one boss offered and the other said nothing but I sure did take some spring onions! 

Back to my first thought of (possibly) being in my prime: I turned 26 and 1/2 this week. I've been thinking a lot about my extremely beautiful birthday party and also about the goals and the things I said I wanted to get out of this year and all the things I hoped for (because sometimes your goals and the things you hope for are different, I am realizing just in this moment). I believe at my party I said I wanted to get on the radio, something about farming, something about having a place in wheeling to stay, at least when I come to visit, and probably something about health insurance. Well here are the updates: I haven't even tried to get on the radio yet and I fucked up my health insurance by telling the truth about when I moved to Virginia and also by waiting too long to get my shit together etc etc so that is not happening this year. As for a place to stay in wheeling, I honestly don't really know what I meant by that other than that I hoped to visit a lot, and so far that is happening! My number one goal for this year was to learn a lot about farming, and basically do whatever it took to make that happen. This one, I am feeling good about. We all know my situation and how it is less than ideal in many ways, but I am doing it, and I'm glad I am, even though it is SO hard some times. Some other little hopes and goals I had this year were to get better at dancing (I wanted to learn one dance other than square), have a space of my own, and maybe try going on a date. I have yet to dance at this year, and I don't really have a space of my own as I am living with my parents BUT I have renovated my mom's office into a nice little space that feels like mine, and Luna is pretty good at keeping other people out of it. And perhaps inspired by the work going on over at ephemmmera.blogspot I am ready to say that at 26+1/2 I might just be ready to try dating again! Will I go on exactly 2 dates and then freak out and not try it again for another 3 years??? Will I fall in love and be married by the end of the year?? hopefully neither to be perfectly honest!!! But I feel like I am ready to give it a shot! Although when it comes to "giving it a shot" I don't really know what I mean or how hard I want to try for this, but I think it would be good to turn 27 (yikes) with at least something new under my belt. So stay tuned! 

Also not related to being 26 specifically, but I did have a goal of beating my old boss, one Hannah R Hedrick, at arm wrestling by summer's end this year,  mostly as a way of motivating myself to actually use my arms at work instead of always lifting things with my poor little back. As of today I have decided that what I really want is to be stronger than a man. Any man. And I will use my arms as long as it takes to achieve this goal.  So. Watch out men. Also, if you know and/or are a man I may be able to beat at arm wrestling....let me know I guess. 

Phew...that feels like plenty for today. Thanks for being along for this long, strange ride we call blogging! Until next time! xoxo caroline

ps literally as I signed that ending I got shit on by a bird. so. idk what that means. other than I am definitely done writing for the night. 

pps idk what's going on because the next morning I was at the same coffee shop I always go to and some guy was maybe hitting on me (???) and I remembered how much I actually hate that but ALSO if I want to maybe go on a date but also don't really want to do any work to make that happen this is probably how it has to be (?????).........also maybe he wasn't exactly "hitting" on me but he sure was talking to me a lot in a way that made me sweat profusely! oh how I hate talking to strangers.